The Opposite of Love

So, I never wanted to be that person that is heartbroken and all they can do is talk about it. Yet, here I am, heartbroken and struggling with the question most single girls ask themselves, is, "Will I ever find that perfect person?" and find that is all I can talk about, it seems to have consumed me. So I figured what better way to get it out there, then to put it in writing.

I read a book recently that stated over and over again that the opposite of Love is not hate, it's indifference. I cannot tell you how true I have found that to be. In my current state, where I can honestly say that I was in Love and now facing a break-up, I am going through a cycle of sorts. There are days where I am really angry. I feel outraged and have this unbelievable desire to lash out. Then I have days where I am hurt, in tears and I cannot seem to do anything by dwell on my loneliness and feelings of despair. And, then I have days where I get a little excited about what new may come my way. What new things may be in store for me.

Today, I am not indifferent, but I am ready. I am ready for this cycle to be over. I am ready to be able to move on and move forward. All these feelings and emotions that I am feeling have made me question if I was really in Love, or if I was in Love with the idea of what I had. But, put simply, it was Love. I wouldn't have all these emotions, I wouldn't be on the roller coaster I am if I didn't have Love for this person. I would just be indifferent and capable of moving on with no desire to look back. 

I don't know how what's next. I don't know what will come of all these emotions, but I do know that to discount the feelings I have by not allowing myself a healthy dose of them will never allow me to move forward in whatever direction I find is best for myself.