The Opposite of Love

So, I never wanted to be that person that is heartbroken and all they can do is talk about it. Yet, here I am, heartbroken and struggling with the question most single girls ask themselves, is, "Will I ever find that perfect person?" and find that is all I can talk about, it seems to have consumed me. So I figured what better way to get it out there, then to put it in writing.

I read a book recently that stated over and over again that the opposite of Love is not hate, it's indifference. I cannot tell you how true I have found that to be. In my current state, where I can honestly say that I was in Love and now facing a break-up, I am going through a cycle of sorts. There are days where I am really angry. I feel outraged and have this unbelievable desire to lash out. Then I have days where I am hurt, in tears and I cannot seem to do anything by dwell on my loneliness and feelings of despair. And, then I have days where I get a little excited about what new may come my way. What new things may be in store for me.

Today, I am not indifferent, but I am ready. I am ready for this cycle to be over. I am ready to be able to move on and move forward. All these feelings and emotions that I am feeling have made me question if I was really in Love, or if I was in Love with the idea of what I had. But, put simply, it was Love. I wouldn't have all these emotions, I wouldn't be on the roller coaster I am if I didn't have Love for this person. I would just be indifferent and capable of moving on with no desire to look back. 

I don't know how what's next. I don't know what will come of all these emotions, but I do know that to discount the feelings I have by not allowing myself a healthy dose of them will never allow me to move forward in whatever direction I find is best for myself.

Popularity 101

First let me preface this with, maybe this only comes with unlimited friends and some sort of popularity and an even more abundant amount of money, nevertheless... I just finished reading the book One Fifth Avenue by Candace Bushnell, there is a character in the book that decides one day to start a blog, just talking about her everyday thoughts and life experiences, not much unlike what I had envisioned when I started this little experiment. She posts one blog and all of NYC knows about it. Then a few more posts and it's all over the papers and the rest of the Internet about her blog. How does one go about getting that kind of attention? I opened up my blog and saw my sorry count of 6 followers. I always knew I wasn't a great sells woman, and probably an even worse "blogger" but sometime I go to write a blog and figure, I might as well be writing in my own secret diary, because the honest reality is, who reads it? How does one get to Perez Hilton status?